Tackle Tough Love Questions.

Are you dying to know if he considers you an exclusive couple or plans to introduce you to his inner circle? Here's how to find out without making him flip.

* In every new romance, there are pivotal points when a status check is crucial to figuring out if the relationship will move forward...or fade out. The problem is, in order to make those dire decisions, you need to ask your mate some sticky questions--the kind that have the potential to make him come down with a sudden case of commitment phobia. How do you probe without sparking his paranoia? Follow Cosmo's expert advice to cruising through five of the biggest relationship queries.

SENSITIVE SUBJECT 1

"Have you been tested?"

Sex is a lot hotter when you don't have to worry about swapping STDs. So naturally, before you get naked with a new man, you should inquire about his test status. Rule number one: Whatever you do, don't bring it up in bed, says Gary L. Malone, M.D., coauthor of 5 Keys for Understanding Men: A Woman's Guide (Authorlink Press, 1999). Instead, casually broach the subject on the way home from a date when you expect some lovin' later--and don't be afraid to admit that you're embarrassed about asking. Your best bet is to say something straightforward--but not accusatory--like "Not to get all after school special on you, but how recently have you been tested?" Another subtle strategy: Volunteer the fact that you've been tested in an effort to get the conversation rolling. That's what Alex [*], 27, a sales rep from Las Vegas, Nevada, did when she started dating her boyfriend. "One night, when we were talking about past relationships, I mentioned that I had recently taken an HIV test," she explains. "In turn, he said he'd been tested a few months before and was totally clean--but we decided we'd each see our docs again, just to be safe."

If he says no: Any guy who doesn't make an appointment ASAP--or refuses to wear condoms--clearly isn't concerned about your safety or peace of mind. Your best bet in that case? Thank him for the early red flag and say sayonara.

SENSITIVE SUBJECT 2