PRIVATE VIEW.

Siemens(1). There's a name to conjure with (no smutty jokes at the back, boy). The future's bright, the future's coming. Someone told me its corporate HQ was in Staines, but I don't believe them. The trouble with this work is that it feels like a clone of the great Wieden & Kennedy work. "Just do it" was genius. "Where do you want to go today?" was brilliant. "You have the power to do anything, anywhere, anytime. Be inspired" is starting to get on my nerves. It's like your mum saying: "Go on, get outside, are you going to spend all day indoors." Crucially, it also feels empty -- why should I feel inspired by Siemens?

Last year, 180 wrote some scripts that Fredrik Bond shot, which were amazing. Athletes such as Jonah Lomu turning into Superman-type figures, complete with choruses of impressed local citizenry. What brilliant work -- it lifted Adidas(3) out of a market in which all the brands looked exactly the same. These new ads are nice -- nice scripts, nice direction -- but they're the same ads as last year. It's still better than most of the work out there -- it just isn't breakthrough work anymore.

Nike(6) used to treat their customers with real respect -- I remember a campaign for Nike for Women from a few years back. One ad intercut between a woman running through a street and a baby screaming and it made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. In 60 seconds it showed you all the raw excitement of being alive.

Its new print stuff is interesting -- some knowing and witty executions based around the lies people tell themselves. The tone is fresh and ambitious, and it does move the game on. But for me, the strategy isn't great -- it's uncomfortably close to the advertising cliche of "you're fat and you need us". How respectful is that?

Whiskas(5). A few years ago this campaign was wonderful. When Ivan Zacharias was shooting beautifully observed scripts about cats in fresh, eye-grabbing style, I thought there was a god in his heaven. Then someone lost confidence and the idea was diluted -- and now it's been diluted to this. The photography is nice, but the thinking is heavy-handed and a bit threatening. It doesn't treat its consumers with respect.

But one brand that has consistently flattered its customers' intelligence is Ikea(4). I really like this work -- it's ambitious, engaging, funny. My only carp is that it looks a bit too much like our Egg work -- particularly the shower scene. But you've got to applaud brave work like this. It's ambitious and beautifully executed.

Did the Sunday Express(2) really enter this? Jeremy Beadle writing a script for Laurence Bowen-Fosdyke (or whatever his name is) with some of the cheapest post-production work I've seen in ages. This is what Turkey of the Week was ...