PRISONER OF LOVE.

I'm in love with a man who is 10 years older than I am and in jail. (We'd been dating for a few months when he was arrested for credit-card fraud.) My mom, whom I live with, says she doesn't want him calling. But I want to resume our relationship when he gets out of jail. What should I do?

To answer your question, as long as you live under your mother's roof, she is perfectly within her rights to refuse phone calls from anyone she does not like or trust. It is a very unusual mother who relishes the prospect of a convict as her daughter's boyfriend. When a man gets out of prison, he may have paid his debt to society at large, but as far as possible employers, creditors, and potential mothers-in-law are concerned, he still has a long, long way to go before he wins approval. Credit-card fraud is not a crime of violence, true enough--but it is a crime of overwhelming greed and arrogant stupidity, something your mother clearly understands. Now that I've answered that, it's my turn to ask you a few questions: Have you any evidence that this guy is genuinely aware of what an immense fool he has been? Has he told you he wants to clean up his act? Is he repentant? Most important, you say you love him--but do you know him? I doubt it. You only dated for a few months before he was locked up. lam not saying this man does not deserve forgiveness for what could be one big stupid mistake. But slow down and let him earn it; he needs to prove his worth in the real world and outside your romantic dreams.

REBOUND ROMANCE

I'm dating this great guy, but he's not over his ex yet. I'm the first woman he has made love to since they broke up a year ago! He says he will never love another woman again but has asked me to move in with him and has even given me keys to his apartment. I just want to help him get past this devastating experience. Can I convince him to give love another try, or am I destined to have my heart broken?

He's on the rebound from a serious relationship and is still bouncing like a kangaroo. He cannot be trusted or trust himself to hold on to anything as fragile as your heart. If you really want to help him move on (and not just help yourself move in), then let him heal at his own pace. Give back his keys and keep your apartment. Be with him whenever possible, by all means, and enjoy your time with him as much as you can, but keep your personal space. Don't count on him for a meaningful relationship until he is stable again and can see you as a person in your own right, not just a companion to ease his loneliness. A woman is only destined" to have her heart broken if she herself hands it over to someone too weak, too careless, or too distracted to hang on to it.

PUZZLED BY HIS PIERCING

My new boyfriend has a penis piercing, and I'm not sure how to handle it. Literally. I feel like I'm going to hurt him, and I'm embarrassed to ask about it. How much do you know about these private-part piercings?