TALL LATTE, HOLD, THE RUDENESS.(teaching manners to children in the face of adult rudeness)(Brief Article)

WASHINGTON, D.C.--In the early morning, I enjoy walking my baby girl through the neighborhood, getting coffee, and watching her absorb the world around us. During a recent Starbucks stop, the woman in front of me felt she had been waiting too long and barked at the young man behind the counter. He apologized profusely, yet she continued to scold him to the point of embarrassment.

I stood there holding my one-year-old daughter, Jocelyn, wondering if she was noticing this woman's behavior. I thought about the previous day at MotoPhoto, where Jocelyn had witnessed another woman screaming at an employee. And last week at a gift shop, where she had watched the store manager berate a customer. Someone's order was wrong, and the store clerks were not only unwilling to help but downright insolent. I wondered how long before my little girl decides that rudeness is acceptable.

Right then at Starbucks, I decided to take a stand. I said to the rude woman, "They are busy and working very hard, and I think you were rude." She turned to me and my daughter and snarled, "Well, you may be able to sit around all day with your baby, but I have to get to work." Then she stormed off. As I left the store still in disbelief, she drove up to me and shouted, "Mind your own business!"

Clearly this woman thought my business was to go home and sit around all day. Au contraire. In addition to my new goal of promoting civility in this busy city, I'm a mother. I am responsible for shaping the character of a child into a young person who (I hope) will never imitate the rudeness she is hearing all around her.

Since she was born, it seems as if every time I've been dressed nicely and rushing out the door with her, Jocelyn has spit up or needed a diaper change. But I clean her up as fast as I can, hug her, and tell her I love her. My schedule is much less important than her feelings. I want her to learn that when we're frustrated or rushing, it's not a license to be unkind to others.

I often hear people order a clerk, "Give me a tall coffee? Is it so much trouble to say, "May I please have a tall coffee." When I hand my daughter her bottle, I tell her to say, "Thank you," in hopes she'll learn to repeat the phrase and understand its importance. Currently, she grabs it and sticks it in her mouth like she hasn't had a drink for a week, but we are working on it.

When I first gave her cookies, I'd break them ...