Sharing a common dream. (nursing home patients and staff) (column)

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Why do they act that way? Well, they are so old who can figure them out anyway? But are "they", the residents of nursing homes, so different from us?

Too often the staff in long-term care facilities fall into what I call the "We-They Syndrome." We draw lines, placing ourselves on one side and the residents on the other. We begin seeing them as different from us, many times without even realizing it. We are well, they are sick that is why they are here, so we can take care of them. They are dependent, we are independent - that is why we need to help them. We are strong, they are weak. We are young, they are old. We are "with it"' they "are out of it." We have a future, they don't. How can we possibly understand people who are so diff erent from us? We have dreams, they don't - or do they?

We often can't imagine someone who is 70, 80, or 90 years old having dreams, hopes, anticipations. What can possibly be left for them to do in life besides patiently wait for death to come? However, we all have the same basic needs: to feel safe and secure, to be loved, to feel we belong. We all want to feel that each day counts for something - that we are not just "taking up space." I need a reason for being here, just as you need to feel that you are ...