Need help with delicate situation? Just ask.

I didn't want to write this story. Already I can imagine thousands of copies of this thing turning up mysteriously in sock drawers. So ladies, before you do that, please snip off the `By Alan Solomon' part. Thank you.

And now, the story ...

Men are idiots. When it comes to buying lingerie, they are fools. Or worse.

``We tend to find men position themselves out in the mall looking into the windows of the store, sort of peering in, getting up the nerve to actually walk in,'' said Monica Mitro, spokeswoman for - you guessed it - Victoria's Secret stores.

``When they see this happening, our sales force walks into the mall and invites them …