On-the-Job Performance Slips.

Until I began reading about menopause, I didn't realize that so many changes could be related to hormonal fluctuations. I haven't read very much about what I'll call my mental aberrations, but because they are so new to me, I want to connect them to my hormones. And perhaps to my lack of deep sleep. I wake in the morning feeling anything but rested and refreshed.

For the past several weeks I have sat at my desk for a number of hours pushing papers around. I am the type of person who can keep fifteen balls in the air, so my inability to decide which of three projects I should begin strikes me as being ludicrous. I can't seem to organize my papers into folders. Some should probably simply be thrown away. At times, I feel overwhelmed by an inability to get started, l suspect that part of this problem is a feeling of anxiety. I bounce in and out of my office and off to our office kitchen for countless cups of coffee. A trip to the kitchen for coffee in the past was often connected to my wanting to get away from concentration or to shift to subtle creative inattention to bring a new perspective to a problem. Now I feel I am running away from something. Maybe the fog in my of-rice.

There's no one I can talk to about this. Certainly, I don't want anyone in my office to know how confused, slow, and stupid I am feeling. I'm overwhelmed by learning new things on the computer and have lost my old enthusiasm ...