Bunking With Friends.(International Edition; THE HOME FRONT)(on second homes and freeloaders)(Essay)

Byline: Sameer Reddy

Should houseguests be expected to empty the dishwasher? And what if they break something?

It sounded like a great idea. my mother had a family apartment in Pune, India, that she had inherited. But since she rarely used it, she decided to divest and purchase a vacation home in the Eden-like locale of Goa. My father and I took a reconnaissance mission a year and a half ago, and after touring a number of options, we discovered a new development in North Goa, perched on a large hill, affording the most perfect ocean view we had ever encountered. A week later my father was back in the United States, having signed the paperwork and placed the deposit. Iwas preparing to relocate to Berlin, a city known for its brutal winters, so the promise of spending part of each season in a seafront flat had obvious appeal. Luckily, my parents had the same vision for me, their only son.

But then I made the mistake of mentioning the new holiday home to some of my friends. Soon I was the most popular guy in my social network, as friends stricken by economic woes figured out they could use me for a free vacation. A writer who's a casual friend sent me an e-mail asking when construction would be completed so she could plan her visit. Another, closer friend flat-out told me that she couldn't wait to stay there. Another said the same thing, then another. Suddenly, I began to see the downside of owning a second home: the freeloader factor--a phenomenon that is surely rising as the economy dips. There's something about an empty bed in a sunny clime that makes even casual acquaintances feel entitled to drop in. I had no idea how to handle all these intended guests. What's the ideal balance between being generous and preserving time for yourself? What if they break something? Can they be required to empty the dishwasher?

I decided to ask some people with more experience. Lisa Farjam, a close friend from college, travels a lot for work, so when she has free time she unwinds with her fiance at their modernist spread in New York's Hudson Valley. Set on 339 square meters, with river frontage, a vegetable garden and a guest house, the property draws a constant stream of visitors. She says guests are welcome to use the smaller cottage--usually in exchange for some gardening favors. "Everyone is always pitching in with cooking and cleaning," she says. "It's a real joy to be in the kitchen and to see everyone working together to make a giant ...