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How To Write A Letter Of Condolence.(Interview)

Allure

| April 01, 2009 | Birnbaum, Cara; Trench, Brooke Le Poer; Morrill, Hannah; Hsieh, Emily | COPYRIGHT 2009 All rights reserved. Reproduced by permission of The Condé Nast Publications Inc. This material is published under license from the publisher through the Gale Group, Farmington Hills, Michigan.  All inquiries regarding rights should be directed to the Gale Group. (Hide copyright information)Copyright

Byline: INTERVIEWS BY CARA BIRNBAUM, BROOKE LE POER TRENCH, HANNAH MORRILL, AND EMILY HSIEH

Expert advice on how to make over your bed, write a condolence note, buy a bra that really fits, and more.

An Interview With Leonard M. Zunin and Hilary Stanton Zunin

Leonard Zunin is a psychiatrist; together, the Zunins wrote The Art of Condolence: What to Write, What to Say, What to Do at a Time of Loss (HarperPaperbacks).

People get skittish when it comes to expressing sympathy about a loss or tragedy. Understandably, they don't want to touch on a raw nerve or underscore sorrow, and they're afraid of saying the wrong thingso they end up saying nothing at all. But after talking to hundreds of people for our book, we that found a well-written note is always welcome. It's one of the most effective ways to comfort a grieving friend.

It's never too lateor too earlyto write.

Never say never. It's never too late, or too early, to write. You can do it that day; you can write two years later, but try not to wait more than six weeks. Even though your note may bring up old memories, no one we've spoken to has regretted receiving a heartfelt letter. And remember that condolence notes aren't just for deatha note is appropriate after any major loss: an accident, illness, or even divorce.

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