When your friends start having babies: late-night gab sessions, impromptu getaways--they're history the second a bud pops out a baby. Cosmo helps you deal when your wing woman is no longer at your beck and call.(TOTALLY COSMO)

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You knew life would drastically change for your friend the second she became a parent. What you might not have accounted for was the fact that your world would also suffer a blow. "Friendships are largely based on shared experiences, and when a woman has a baby, she naturally develops a totally new set of priorities and interests," says psychologist Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD, author of The Unwritten Rules of Friendship. "And when two people have divergent lifestyles, it can put a serious strain on their relationship."

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This holds tree whether you are far from wanting a kid of your own or are secretly envious of her life stage. Either way, Cosmo will explain how to ensure your bond survives the transition.

What Causes the Clash

It's a fact of life: The instant a woman has a baby, her world begins to revolve around the child, leaving her little time or energy to devote to her friends. "The troth of the matter is, even if she does make plans with you without the baby, she's often worrying if her little one is okay ... and she won't be able to give you her full attention," says Kennedy-Moore. And this lack of focus extends to the phone. Just ask Vanessa, 33: "I'll be in the middle of saying something important to my friend, and I'll suddenly hear her making ridiculous goo-goo noises at her baby. It's clear she's not listening, which is really hurtful."

And as Florida relationship therapist Krista Bloom, PhD, points out, your friend is probably having as hard a time relating to you as you are to her, and she may unconsciously marginalize your problems. "I went through a really bad breakup and was crushed, so I turned to my best friend," says Ann, 29. "And she started telling me about how once you have a baby, you realize how unimportant things like dating and barhopping are. I wanted to slap her."