Guy confessions: men admit to their dirtiest deeds and most shameless scams ever.

A Hard Morning

"I had an early flight on a Sunday morning. Since I was traveling with only a backpack full of clothes, I decided to go out Saturday night, bring my bag along, and then take a cab straight from the bar to the airport. I got to my gate at about 4 in the morning and lay down on some chairs to catch some sleep until boarding time. I woke up several hours later, surrounded by about 100 people. Unfortunately, I'd been in the middle of a hot dream, and I had a bad case of morning wood. A group of old ladies gave me really dirty looks before I jumped up and ran to another gate to hang out until it was time to board my flight."--Cayden, 24

The Naked Chef

"I often stay at my girlfriend's house on weekends. One morning after sleeping over, I offered to make her breakfast. She was out of eggs and left to pick some up. Ten minutes later, I heard her car pull into the driveway, and I decided to give her a funny surprise. I pulled off my boxers, grabbed a frying pan, and put it over my crotch while I waited for her in the kitchen.

"As I heard the front door open and close, I put on a big, cheesy grin, thinking she'd get a kick out of my joke. But a moment later, her morn walked in! She screamed at the sight of me and ran out of the kitchen. Apparently, she'd been in the neighborhood and wanted to drop off a few things for her daughter. She hadn't seen a car in the driveway and decided to let herself in. I threw on some clothes, and we laughed it off ... but she must have shared the story, because the next time I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, her morn handed me a pan, and everyone cracked up."--Arif, 36

Touch of Evil

"I don't go to church, but my girlfriend comes from a really religious family, so I'm always on my best behavior around them. When we went to her niece's baptism, I felt like I was finally winning over her typically not-so-accepting relatives. We attended the church service, then went to her sister's home for lunch. During the meal, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. Then my girl's 10-year-old cousin walked in on me as I was finishing up and shaking myself off.