Assignment: make the constitution "live".(HUMOR)

"Mister Welter! Mister Welter!" Brooke Forrest yelled down the hallway of Oprah's School for Relativistic Females and All Males Who Dress or Feel Womanly, formerly known as Ms. Prim's Academy for Genteel Young Ladies. "Please wait!" she called. "I need to talk to you! Please!" she gushed in a rush as she skittered up the hall, careening off one student after another as she sought to catch up to her reclusive English lit teacher.

Finally, just as it appeared her teacher would once again elude her by disappearing into the teachers' lounge, the inner sanctum of teachers where even the thought of students is not allowed, let alone actual students, he turned to face her and waited. "Yes? How may I help you?" he asked quickly and curtly, while alternately raising himself up on his toes to peer down at her imperiously and turning to gaze longingly at the lounge door as a bout of laughter emanated from inside the room.

"Mister Welter," Brooke exclaimed, "you gave me an 'F' on my paper about the living Constitution, the one where we were supposed to interpret the Constitution to achieve something useful for society."

"First of all, Brooke, being called 'Mister Welter' makes me uncomfortable. Other staff members may think that I am demanding that my students call me 'Mister' and that I'm training you to subconsciously hold males in higher esteem than females."

"But I call my female teachers 'ma'am,' so isn't it okay?"

"No, I'm afraid not. There is no inherent reason to give respectful titles to people who have lived longer than you. Just call me Mark.... Back to your problem."

"Okay, Mark, you gave me an 'E' ..."