Guy confessions: men admit to their dirtiest deeds and most shameless scams ever.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

Hop Presentation

"I'm a member of a philanthropic foundation. For months, I had been working on a presentation to give to the board. On the evening of the event, everything in my PowerPoint was going smoothly. I went to click on a link I'd embedded that connected to a YouTube video about some of the beneficiaries of our work. I'd checked it twice, which is why I was surprised when the video that started running was a close-up of two women engrossed in a steamy make-out session. In front of an entirely black-tie audience, the faulty link had connected to some girl-on-girl short. I was too embarrassed to even think of a clever excuse."--Malik, 32

A Pocketful of Trouble

"I got up the nerve to ask out my coworker, and she said yes. We went to an Asian fusion place where the meal and the conversation were going well. Halfway through the main course though, I reached across the table and knocked over my glass of water. Its contents spilled, and she was soaked. I rushed to get extra napkins and awkwardly gave them to her. She assured me that she was fine, but the air-conditioning in the place was cranked up and she kept shivering. I offered her my coat, which she put on. She reached her hand into the pocket out of habit and pulled out two condoms that I'd forgotten I'd stuck in there. I knew the evening was dead in the water."--Jamal, 29

Smokin' Entree

"When I made my college soccer team, I had to go through initiation. One Monday, some guys from the squad showed up at my door and told me we were going to the cafeteria. They pulled out a bright yellow thong and said that was all I'd be wearing. I managed to squeeze into it and sneak past the personnel at the dining hall. In front of the entire lunchtime rush, which included faculty and a few hot girls who lived on my floor, I had to cook a Belgian waffle, standing next to the iron with most of my hairy ass on display."--Kevin, 24