Exit stage right.

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ASSUMING there's still time for some good, old-fashioned recriminations about the recent unpleasantness at the polls, I'd like to vent my most enduring complaint about the Republican party and Homo republicanus generally: Republicans have an infuriating tendency to read their stage directions instead of their lines. They tell the audience about their characters' motivation, their blocking, staging, lighting, whatever. But they never just play their part.

I first noticed this way back in 1991. KKK nutter David Duke had won a seat in Louisiana's house of representatives in 1989 and was letting the national press use him against the GOP generally. Pres. George H. W. Bush needed to denounce Duke in the strongest possible terms. Instead, what he said was: "We have--I have--want to be positioned in that I could not possibly support David Duke because of the racism and because of the very recent statements that are very troubling in terms of bigotry and all of this." Positioned?

Then there was Bob Dole, the conviction politician who told a Republican audience: "If that's what you want, I'll be another Ronald Reagan." He somehow turned the 1996 campaign into a referendum on that burning national question, "Should I go negative?" According to his own campaign, Dole's overarching strategy was to "act presidential." Not to "be presidential"--just to act that way.

I could go on, but let's fast-forward to the McCain campaign, which seemed more interested in talking about the process of running for president with a press corps determined to eat it alive than in actually running for president. Campaign adviser Charlie Black told the press that it "would be a big advantage" for McCain if we had a terrorist attack on American soil. True enough. But saying so wins you no points whatsoever.

Another unnamed "Republican operative" told the Washington Post: "There's no question that we have to change the subject" from the economy. A "senior campaign official" added that the campaign would change the tone and go much more "aggressive."

Now, again, I have no problem with the stage ...