Positive workplace politics with colleagues.(extra credit)

It's sad but true: Most of us spend more time with co-workers than with family members. But are we fully developing these relationships? Are we getting everything we should out of them? Are we doing the specific things necessary to make our work life go smoothly and make our co-workers want to go the extra mile for us?

Here are four quick rules for forging better relationships with coworkers and turning them into people who will watch your back and promote your career.

1. Always confront a coworker in private.

If you disagree with one of them in a meeting, try not to do so in front of an audience. Nothing solidifies their position faster than someone disagreeing with them in front of other people. You force them to act strong and make it impossible for them to change their mind and agree with your position. If you can, wait until after the meeting, go by their office and tell them, "I didn't want to say this in the meeting, but I have a problem with one of the things you said. I wanted to discuss it with you in private." They will appreciate your effort not to embarrass them and be much more receptive to your viewpoint. If it is impossible to wait until after the meeting--if you are convinced their position is so wrong it will derail the entire project--try saying this in the meeting: "Joe, I think when you made that decision (or came to that conclusion), there was a piece of information no one shared with you. That piece of information is ..." and add an additional fact to the mix. By doing this, you alert Joe to the fact that you believe he has made a mistake, you give him a few minutes to think about his decision, and, most importantly, you give him room to change his mind and save face. He now can easily say, "Well, given that new information, I would decide things a little differently."

2. Go out of your way to help people when they are in trouble.

When coworkers make a very public error--or everyone knows the boss is mad at them--it is a natural human tendency to avoid contact with them. They are often treated as if they are made of kryptonite and everyone around them will be collateral damage. The reality is, if they survive the incident (and in most cases they will), they will remember those who still talked to them and associated with them while they were working through the problem. If one of those people is you, you will have gained a loyal coworker and an advocate for the life of your career. And at worst, if they do not survive the incident, you are seen as someone who helps people and never kicks them when they are down--a good reputation to have in any organization.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]