Surprise: guys do like it slow: Everything happens fast and furiously nowadays. But there's one area of life where men want the good times to last longer than you might guess: in bed.(LOVE AND LUST)

Somewhere along the line, guys earned a rep for wanting sex to be a "wham, bam, thank you, ma'am" experience. But a recent Cosmo poll (tens of thousands of males responded) found that the majority of men crave quickies only a few times a week--max--and 65 percent want longer sack sessions to last at least 45 minutes.

This is really great news, because slower sex hits major payoffs for you: To begin with, it takes females more time than males to get turned on and reach orgasm. Plus, having sex at a decelerated pace intensifies pleasure and lets you and your bedmate bond more deeply because you can explore each other's bodies and experiment with new kinds of foreplay.

There is, of course, one practical matter that needs to be addressed: how to contain a man's excitement in order to extend the play. And moreover, while languorous sex sounds hot in theory, what the hell do you do to fill all that time?

No worries--you're about to learn how to master the art of the slowie (the polar opposite of a quickie). "The key is building up excitement gradually," says Ian Kerner, PhD, author of Passionista.

Start Before You Hit the Bedroom

You can draw out doing the deed by setting the stage hours in advance. Send him a naughty text early in the day--a line like "Save your energy.... You're gonna need it later" should do the trick. Then, while out to dinner or drinks, reveal something sexy you want to try later and have him do the same. "Shining your desires ensures you're on the same page mentally and also helps you connect on an emotional level," says Kernel: Having this discussion in public increases anticipation because you will get turned on but are forced to put off acting on your urges.

Then seize the opportunity to unveil your plan for the rest of the evening. Tell him "Tonight I fully intend to take my time pleasing you." And if it's feasible, lay your hand on his thigh as you say it. "Physical contact stimulates the hormone oxytocin, which makes you feel happy, relaxed, and close to each other," explains Kerner. "And that mind-set is a crucial element for building arousal, especially for women."