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DEAR MICHELLE:
First off, congrats to you both for the big win. Although I didn't vote for you, I'm happy for you and your family and wish you the best. Also, I'm glad the whole election thing is over! LOL!
My question is this: With the holidays fast approaching, my husband and I are thinking of maybe reducing the number of outside lights on the house. We usually "do it up" in grand style with a blinking Santa and reindeer on the rooftop, and an animated Frosty on the front lawn. But this year, with the economy and energy prices, it seems to him like it's a bad idea. Myself, I think we should "go big" and add a manger scene and some adorable flashing elves, to keep the spirits up in the neighborhood and Christmas cheer soaring.
My husband said he'd agree to whatever you said. "They're in charge now," he said. So, what should we do?
--CHEERFUL IN CHEBOYGAN
DEAR CHEERFUL:
Clearly, you're a racist. That's fine--hey, we live in a democracy, and people of your socioeconomic class often resort to racism and fatty foods to soothe the pain of being left out--but I can't help but wonder why, exactly, you didn't vote for my husband if it wasn't because of race. Maybe instead of festooning your house with electric symbols of white oppression and overeating sugary carbohydrates, you can take some time during the holidays to reflect on your own toxic, hate-filled prejudices. And you just might lose a few pounds while doing it.