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When Hall of Fame pitcher Satchel Paige drew up his "Rules for Staying Young," the first item on the list was "Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood." The host committee for this year's Democratic convention took that advice to heart, instructing food vendors not to serve anything fried--not for health reasons, but because of frying's environmental impact. Other rules deepened the parody of liberal thought, with quotas (half of each meal was to be fruits and vegetables) and mandatory diversity (meals had to include "at least three of the ...