Horsing Around.

Byline: Cory Farley

An old saying about fighter pilots applies to good drivers, too, I think. As if I'd know. But if an ordinary person were spinning out of control, it's said, he'd think, "Oh, God, I've got 10 seconds to live,'' and freeze.

A fighter pilot in the same situation will think, "I've got 10 seconds. I can save this thing.''

In my out-of-control experience, the fighter-pilot gene hasn't stepped up. Generally, there's a bump, a blur and then settling dust. What's always impressed me about average professional drivers isn't how fast they are but how quickly they recover when things go wrong.

But not until the World's Worst Cable TV Company sold me did I fully appreciate the difference between pros and me.

World's Worst Cable has dominated our neighborhood for years, compensating for its unreliable signal by offering the worst programming in the history of electricity. "You'll get 27 channels,'' the salesman promised. We did, including Fox, ABC and CBS in two spots each and NBC in three. But no Comedy Central or Discovery and no Speed.

There's the fickleness of fate: I spent 30 years sweating at shadeless racetracks where ...