Ask him anything: advice from our guy guru.(LOVE AND LUST)

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

[Q] I'm very close to my boyfriend of six months, but when we have sex, he closes his eyes and stays silent. He says he enjoys cuddling more than sex, yet he also says he wants more excitement. How do I interpret his mixed signals?

[A] A lot of guys aren't verbal while they're doing the deed in part because they prefer you do the moaning and screaming. However, men are visual creatures, so a guy shutting his peepers during sex sounds strange. He may be hiding something.

What exactly that is, I don't know. Maybe your boyfriend is insecure about his sexual prowess, so it's easier for him to turn off the lights and concentrate. Or it could be he's prone to premature ejaculation, and looking inward helps him slow down. Worst-case scenario: He's fantasizing ... and not about another woman. Craving "more excitement" may be code for "a different kind of sex," and it makes me wonder if he's gay.

Try to draw him out of his shell by telling him that it would really turn you on to gaze into his eyes during sex. Then dig a little deeper and get him to talk about what's wrong. Clearly, he isn't satisfied with the current sexual status quo. So ask him nicely and constructively to help you understand what he craves. He may give you an answer you can work with, or he may confuse you even further, in which case you have to decide whether you're happy being an overcuddled, undersexed mind reader.

SMELL HELL

[Q] I really like the guy I'm seeing and sex with him is great, hut he has BO-down there. He's a bit of a hippie, so I'm not sure If he's dedicated to hygiene. How do I get him to address this without humiliating him?