What it's like to date at 35: Rachel Grumman thought she'd be hitched by now. Here, she shares the highs and lows of single life--as well as the thrilling curves it often entails.(YOU YOU YOU)

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* Even though I'm still single at 35, I never feel like I'm walking around with a scarlet "S" on my chest. In fact, contrary to popular opinion, men aren't 'all that hard to come by. If anything, I'm attracting a much broader range of guys--from the young, sexy fling-only options to the ready-to-settle-down types. Perhaps it's because I'm more confident and comfortable in my own skin than I ever was in my 20s.

For the first time in my dating life, I feel like I'm doing the choosing and playing a more active role in finding the right relationship. I have a greater sense of my worth as a woman and what I bring to the table. My first-date thinking has gone from I hope he likes me to Let's roll with this and see if he's right for me.

I do find myself writing off guys faster though--not because I'm impatient but because I'm much dearer on what I'm looking for now. That's why I don't spend much time on the aforementioned fling-only options anymore. Don't get me wrong, I've had more fun than what's legal in some states. But these days, when I meet those short-term guys, I see them with a clarity I didn't have in my 20s. I look at them and think I haven't met you before, but I've dated you already. It's like flipping through a book you've already read: You know how it ends--and it ends badly--so why pick it up? On the flip side, that 'also means you can have a no-strings-attached randy blast and walk away with clean hands.

But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I sometimes have that "Where (lid I make the wrong turn?" feeling. It's as though I was happily walking on this path, and somewhere along the way, 'all my friends made a left at the fork in the road and got married while I, blissfully unaware, veered right. But I've come to believe that everyone has their own pace--mine is just different from some of my girlfriends', and that's okay.

Plus, I wouldn't have traded these years for anything, since they've allowed me time to work on myself, build a successful editing and freelance-writing career, get to know different types of men, and travel all over the world without having to check in with anyone but myself.

That said, I do want to settle down eventually with someone who is at the stone point in his life its I am--meaning someone who isn't too old or too young. But that's about as easy as trying to spot Sasquatch in a dense forest. Recently, I was asked out by a 35-year-old guy, and I remember calling my friend to say, "I found the elusive 35-year-old man!" I wanted to take Iris picture and sell it to a tabloid. My guess is they're hard to find because most are already married.