Guy confessions: men admit to their dirtiest deeds and most shameless scams ever.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

Room Service?

"I was on vacation with my girlfriend's family in Costa Rica, and we'd been having a wild time, drinking and partying a lot. One night, after consuming way too much alcohol, I decided to sneak into my girlfriend's bedroom. As an added surprise, I wore a men's thong that I had bought as a sexy joke from a tourist shop. I crept into the dark room, shut the door, and started performing a striptease dance. But when I crawled into bed with her, she screamed, got up, and ran to flip on the light. That was when I realized that it was actually her mother who I'd just performed for."--Jeremy, 24

Great Balls of Fire!

"After a rough football game, I was really sore, so my supersweet girlfriend offered to give me a sensual massage to relax my muscles. To maximize the effect, she used Icy Hot balm, which makes your skin very cold and then very hot. First, she told me to lie down on her bed, and then she removed my pants and boxers. She was rubbing me down, and the massage felt amazing. But while working on my upper leg, she stopped to apply more gel, and some of it dripped onto my private parts. After some initial numbness, my member suddenly felt like it was on fire! I jumped up and started hopping around, unable to handle the intensity of the sensation. I ended up having to reassure my girlfriend that it wasn't a big deal, but I haven't taken her up on another massage."--Jay, 23

He (Don't) Got Game

"I was at a park, shooting hoops with a bunch of friends, when a girl I'd been crushing on showed up to watch. Wanting to impress her, I immediately started showing off and doing tricks. I was dribbling up and down the court, making lots of spins and between-the-legs moves, and totally putting on a show. From time to time, I'd look over at the girl, just to make sure she was still watching. I realized that I had her attention, so for the finale, I dribbled up to the basket and made a slam dunk. But I had put so much effort into it that I hit my head really hard on the rim and I started bleeding. So instead of rolling off the court to go flirt with the girl afterward, I ended up going to the hospital to get stitches. She was less than impressed."--Sam, 34