Coping with grief: guidelines and resources for assisting children.(Cover story)

This article provides basic information for school-based mental health professionals, teachers, staff, and administrators to support students coping with grief, and more specifically, grief related to death. The information is consolidated into guidelines and key points in providing support; suggested children's books and activities; Web sites with additional resources, information, and handouts for parents and teachers; and a list of key readings further explaining how children understand and cope with grief.

Keywords: crisis management; intervention(s); elementary age; adolescence; age issues; counseling

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Grieving is defined as personal thoughts and feelings associated with loss (Pfohl, Jimerson, & Lazarus, 2002; Worden, 1996). Loss triggering children's grief occurs on a continuum of severity. Children experience a mixture of emotions in response to something as simple as losing a toy, or to the devastation of watching a parent slowly die from a terminal illness. Although grief is commonly linked to the death of a loved one, grief is also associated with the disruption of familiar comfort and security, including divorce, family financial difficulties, frequent moves, and loss of friendships. Of a more personal nature, children may suffer violations of trust, abuse, and neglect. In addition, grief is associated with traumatic incidents, including disasters and accidents. All of these situations, although very different in nature, contain a common factor: personal loss and the subsequent challenge of adapting to a different life, typically with altered support systems.

Even though, ideally, adults and parents hope to protect children from life's harsh realities, all children will inevitably face the challenge of coping with loss. All children will experience the painful, often overwhelming emotions associated with grief. In addition, children's grief is complicated by their innocence, vulnerability, and lack of mature coping skills. Often uninformed, they face challenges and fears with less than optimal resources.

This article provides information for mental health professionals, teachers, staff, and administrators supporting children coping with grief, and more specifically, grief related to death. After summarizing basic guidelines and providing a summary of foundational information, lists of interventions and resources are provided. Lists include suggested children's books and associated learning activities; Web sites with additional resources, information, and handouts for parents and teachers; and a list of key readings further explaining how children understand and cope with grief.