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Following The Rules.(Special Report)(how women should behave when in the Middle East)

Newsweek International

| April 21, 2008 | Grove, Sophie | COPYRIGHT 2008 Newsweek, Inc. All rights reserved. Any reuse, distribution or alteration without express written permission of Newsweek is prohibited. For permission: www.newsweek.com. This material is published under license from the publisher through the Gale Group, Farmington Hills, Michigan.  All inquiries regarding rights should be directed to the Gale Group. (Hide copyright information)Copyright

Byline: Sophie Grove

Gulf travel presents a separate set of challenges for women.

Tamara Kosta doesn't usually wear her wedding ring at home in London. But when she's in Oman her conjugal band sends an important message. "Most people in Europe wouldn't notice a wedding ring, but in a traditional society it can make a real difference," says the Lebanese-born shoe designer, who has traveled widely throughout the U.A.E. and Oman. "There are a different set of rules here."

A trip to the Middle East can present some significant challenges for women. "What is viewed as the norm in Western society can be seen quite differently in the Gulf," adds Kosta. "Even an enthusiastic chat can be interpreted the wrong way. You have to remember that these men's wives are covered from head to toe. Try and keep discreet--even at times aloof. It's almost like taking your femininity away, or at least toning it right down. Remember, it's not St-Tropez."

Apart from some supermodern enclaves like Dubai, most of the Middle East is governed by a strict Islamic code that dictates modesty for women. Lone female travelers are unusual in Arabic culture, where the patriarchal family plays a strong role. Some countries, like Bahrain, have specific visa requirements for single women, who are typically viewed with suspicion.

To be sure, travel in the Gulf is relatively safe--personal-crime rates there are among the lowest in the world--and men tend to be respectful toward women. But single women can still elicit unwanted attention. "Men here see such astonishing liberal images of Western women," says Rebecca Stephenson, a British language student in Cairo who has traveled throughout the Middle East. "You are going to get some hassle. Sometimes it's more of a cultural misunderstanding than anything else. My advice is to ignore them. Be firm, of course, but don't engage too much. A hiss or a heckle might make you feel furious but it's best to ignore it rather than get militant; you'll only become more embroiled in an argument."

Jessica Moxam, a British architect ...

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