Tornado at a frat party.(The Week)(Bill Clinton)

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'RECENT events," mused former Clinton impeachment lawyer Greg Craig, "raise the question: if Hillary's campaign can't control Bill, whether Hillary's White House could."

I love this. But it's worth remembering that Bill's White House couldn't control Bill either. Neither could Bill's wife, no matter how many lamps she hucked at him. Bill's conscience? That was ensconced in a Naugahyde Barcalounger eating a box of Ring Dings during much of his presidency. Meanwhile his id and his ego were Jell-O wrestling with two strippers from Reno and a cigar-smoking midget with a Ziploc bag full of male-enhancement party favors.

Bill is politically uncontrollable, morally incorrigible, and verbally incontinent. And he owns his dysfunction, requiring those around him to bend to his passive-aggressive personality. This ability can be almost metaphysical, in that he can redefine Being itself by calling "is" into question and get away with it. During the investigation that led to his impeachment, he brazenly insisted that his Secret Service agents needed to be exempt from reporting on the illegal behavior of the president, sworn officers of the law though they were. He'd say anything that came to his mind, and sell it as if he'd visited the burning bush itself. He once claimed he was the only person to occupy the Oval Office who knew anything about agriculture (scan your mental hard drive for all the presidents who actually owned farms--as opposed to ordering the farmer's breakfast at Cracker Barrel--and you'll see what I mean). Bill's wife describes him as a force of nature, which is a nice way of rephrasing James ...