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"My friend loves Justin Timberlake and his Dick in a Box skit. For her birthday, I got her a huge dildo and put it in a gift box. A group of us went to a restaurant to celebrate, and I put the gift next to me. I whispered to the waiter that we'd like to have dessert brought to my friend. He must have thought that I brought a cake in the box because at some point--without my noticing--he took the ...