When silly spats spell trouble: you love your guy, but his quirks drive you mad. Here's what those minor irritations may mean for your union.(LOVE AND LUST)

* For the most part, you and your boyfriend really seem to connect. But sometimes, his little habits really get under your skin. Maybe it's his iffy table manners or his always showing up 15 minutes late that works your last nerve. You try not to, but you can't seem to stop fixating on some minor flaw.

"When something seemingly petty repeatedly annoys you, it can be because you're harboring larger, underlying doubts," says psychoanalyst Bethany Marshall, PhD, who tackles this topic in her new book Deal Breakers: When to Work on a Relationship and When to Walk Away. Marshall explains how to tell if your bickering is a sign of something bigger or just a niggling annoyance.

See If It's Serious

Think about your quarrel, and look closer if any of these ring true.

* You wouldn't care if a pal did the same thing--say, choosing a Will Ferrell flick over play tickets--but get mad when he does it. That indicates anxiety about your dude, not the behavior. (If you'd hate that a friend did it, it's just your own pet peeve.)

* You get wound up consistently, daily even, by unrelated triggers--if its not his playing Xbox for hours, it's that he's with his stupid friends. Constant chafing likely stems from bigger concerns (like he's immature).

* Random things remind you of other offenses. One irksome little action stirs up unrelated grievances--like his loud chewing gets you agitated about the time he insulted your brother ...