Sibling maltreatment: the forgotten abuse.

Historically, violence in the home was considered a private matter. In the 1970s, however, the feminist movement assisted in raising awareness throughout mainstream America about family violence, and since that time there have been many advances in the study of various types of abuse among family members (Ammerman & Hersen, 1991). Today, issues involving the maltreatment of older adults, child abuse, and spousal abuse are researched regularly by social scientists in an attempt to understand the causes of violence in the home and to develop programs designed to prevent family violence. Despite these advances, sibling abuse remains underrepresented in the professional literature.

Data reported in several studies over the past 3 decades suggest that sibling abuse is pandemic and can have fatal results. For example, Straus, Gelles, and Steinmetz (1980) found that as many as 40% of children in the United States engage in physical aggression against siblings, and as many as 85% engage in verbal aggression against siblings on a regular basis. Wiehe (1998) estimated that as many as 53 out of every 100 children are perpetrators of sibling abuse. Goodwin and Roscoe (1990) used the Conflict Tactics Incidence Scale (Straus, 1979) to measure the frequency of abuse in families among 272 high school students, and they found that 60% of the participants reported being either a victim or a perpetrator of sibling abuse. In their national surveys of 8,145 families, Straus and Gelles (1990) reported that 80% of children ages 3 to 17 years commit some form of violence against a sibling. The most recent data regarding homicide in the United States indicate that siblings perpetrated 6.1% of all murders committed by family members in 2002 (Federal Bureau of Investigation, 2004). These statistics are startling and point out that sibling relationships can be marred by violence.

The pervasive nature of sibling abuse can be better understood when it is considered in relation to data regarding officially verified cases of severe intrafamily abuse. Approximately 1% of children in the United States are severely abused by a parent (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, 2002), 1.8% of adult women experience extreme abuse by an intimate partner (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2003), and 3% to 5% of older adults experience some form of family-based elder abuse (National Center on Elder Abuse, 2005). Unfortunately, national statistics based on reported cases of sibling abuse "do not exist because generally cases of physical or emotional sibling abuse do not come to the attention of authorities" (Wiehe, 2000, p. 412). However, extensive national survey data reveal that serious violence between siblings is disturbingly common and much more prevalent than serious child abuse by parents: 53% of children ages 3 to 17 years have committed acts of severe violence (such as punching, kicking, stabbing, or attacking with objects) against a brother or sister, whereas only 2.3% of parents have engaged in severe violence toward their children (Straus & Gelles, 1990). Collectively, these data suggest that sibling maltreatment might be the most common form of intrafamily abuse. Indeed, Straus and Gelles (1990), the authors of the most definitive study of violence in families in the United States ever undertaken, concluded, "Children are the most violent persons in American families" (p. 110).

Sibling relationships are ubiquitous. Caffaro and Conn-Caffaro (1998) found that 83% of the adult population in the United States was raised with at least one sibling in the family. Adults typically have more siblings than children, and, compared with statistics in the past, a greater percentage of current adults do not marry or marry at a later age. These findings indicate that the sibling relationship is unique in its longevity and can be one of the most influential relationships in one's life. Therefore, the impact siblings have on one another should not be minimized (Felson, 1983; J. Newman, 1994).

Why does sibling abuse occur? Authorities on the subject have proposed that maladaptive parental behavior and dysfunctional family structures play key roles in the genesis of sibling abuse. Parental treatment has an impact on the sibling relationship. When the family structure supports power imbalances, rigid gender roles, differential treatment of siblings, and lack of parental supervision, there is an increased risk for sibling abuse (Bank & Kahn, 1982; Leder, 1993). In a study conducted by Wiehe (1997), the normalization of abuse by parents was found to be a key factor in the severity and frequency of abuse between siblings. When parents are unable to make the distinction between normal sibling rivalry and sibling abuse, it can lead to other risk factors, such as the inappropriate expression of anger from one sibling toward another. Parents may encourage this behavior as a form of release or ventilation of anger, which usually has the effect of promoting aggression rather than easing hostility in the child (Feshbach, 1964). Several studies have found a link between child abuse and the delinquent behavior of siblings. It has been shown that an abused child may inflict abuse on a sibling because he or she is modeling the actions of his or her parents (Freeman, 1993; Glaser, 1986; Wiehe, 1998).

The tolerance of sibling abuse can have devastating results for both the victim and the perpetrator. Therefore, it is crucial that counselors learn more about the serious problem of sibling abuse. Accordingly, the purpose of this article is to explore numerous issues central to sibling abuse, including definitions of sibling relationships and various forms of sibling maltreatment, the impact of the family environment on sibling interactions and psychological development, the characteristics of perpetrators and victims, and gender differences and multicultural considerations associated with sibling abuse. We describe a three-stage counseling process for use with families struggling with sibling abuse and suggest recommendations for research and counselor education pertaining to sibling abuse.

* Definitions of Sibling Relationships and Sibling Abuse

Sibling abuse is extremely complicated and not easily defined. It is difficult to determine where normal developmental behavior between siblings ends and abuse begins. Many factors, such as the severity and intent of an act by one sibling and the emotional impact of that act on another sibling, must be considered when determining if an interaction is abusive. Normal sibling conflict usually consists of a mutual disagreement over resources in the family (e.g., parental attention), whereas sibling maltreatment consists of one sibling taking on the role of aggressor in relation to another sibling. Like other forms of abuse, sibling abuse has three main categories: psychological, physical, and sexual (Johnston & Freeman, 1989). The first step to understanding these categories is to define what constitutes a sibling relationship.

Sibling Relationship

Sibling relationships may comprise biological siblings (sharing the same biological parents), half siblings (sharing one parent), step-siblings (related through marriage of parents), adoptive siblings, foster siblings (related through a shared home), or fictive siblings (may not be biologically related but are considered siblings). The sibling relationship itself consists of "all interactions, verbal and nonverbal, of two or more individuals who are members of the same sibling subsystem and who have parents in common" (Caffaro & Conn-Caffaro, 1998, p. 75).

The relationship siblings have with each other is unique as compared with any other emotional connection between people and may have the strongest impact on a person's social development. Johnston and Freeman (1989) found that, over time, sibling relationships that are positive have a beneficial effect on children and those that are negative have an adverse impact on children. Positive sibling relationships include normal sibling rivalry, which is not considered harmful in mild forms. When siblings are positive toward each other, a supportive environment exists in which healthy development is likely to occur. Negative sibling relationships, by comparison, are characterized by fear, shame, and hopelessness. When the relationship is negative, there is a possibility that some form of abuse is occurring (Johnston & Freeman, 1989).

Psychological Abuse

Psychological abuse is the most difficult category of abuse to define in the sibling relationship. This form of abuse between siblings is typically not recognized by parents and is often dismissed as normal sibling rivalry (Wiehe, 1997). What are some signs that interaction between siblings is psychologically abusive and not normal behavior? Whipple and Finton (1995) described psychological abuse as follows:

 
   The distinction of such acts from "normal" behavior involves 
   both constancy and intensity. Examples include ridicule, 
   which involves both words and actions that express contempt, 
   and degradation, which deprives the victim of a sense of self 
   worth.... The sibling who is able to exacerbate a fear gains 
   control in the relationship through minimizing the other's 
   self-esteem. (p. 137) 

In his study of 150 adult survivors of sibling abuse, Wiehe (2000) documented that 78% of the participants had experienced emotional abuse, including numerous and often cruel forms of abuse, such as belittling, intimidation, scorn, provocation, destroying possessions, and torturing and killing of pets.

Psychological abuse can have serious long-term consequences if parents minimize the importance of abusive actions between siblings and do not seek help for their children. It is important for counselors to take reports of psychological abuse seriously and to observe the behavior of siblings. If the abuse is not addressed, victims may internalize abusive messages. Children who experience psychological abuse may act out by crying or screaming or hide in an attempt to isolate themselves from the abuser (Wiehe, 1998). It has been shown that there is a connection between experiencing emotional abuse as a child and developing habit disorders, conduct disorders, neurotic traits, and psychoneurotic reactions; experiencing lags in development; and attempting to commit suicide (Ammerman & Hersen, 1991). In addition, both the victims and the perpetrators of emotional sibling abuse tend to have significantly lower levels of self-esteem as adults than do nonvictims (Garey, 1999). Psychological abuse is also present in both physical and sexual sibling abuse (Whelan, 2003).

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse by a sibling is defined as one member of the sibling pair deliberately causing physical harm to the other member. The harm may be inflicted by shoving, hitting, slapping, kicking, biting, pinching, scratching, and hair pulling (Caffaro & Conn-Caffaro, 1998; Wiehe, 2000). More severe forms of physical abuse by siblings include the use of broom handles, rubber hoses, coat hangers, hairbrushes, belts, sticks, knives, guns and rifles, broken glass, razor blades, and scissors to inflict injury and pain (Wiehe, 2000). Some victims have reported that their siblings attempted to drown them, nearly suffocated them with a pillow, or repeatedly hit them in the stomach until they lost their breath (Wiehe, 2000).

Sibling violence is the most common form of intimate violence in the United States (Straus & Gelles, 1990). Simonelli, Mullis, Elliott,…