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Ask him anything: advice from our guy guru, Jonathan Small.(Column)

Cosmopolitan

| April 01, 2007 | Small, Jonathan | COPYRIGHT 2007 Hearst Communications, reprinted with permission of Hearst. This material is published under license from the publisher through the Gale Group, Farmington Hills, Michigan.  All inquiries regarding rights should be directed to the Gale Group. (Hide copyright information)Copyright

[Q] A male friend of mine told me that guys don't go to bars to meet potential girlfriends; they go to get laid. So does mean I should just completely give up on trying to meet someone special when I go out to bars?

[A] It's true a lot of guys go to bars looking to get some, but just as many go with the hopes of meeting a cool chick. In fact, I know a bunch of people who met at bars and are now dating and even engaged, which kind of blows your friend's theory out of the water.

That being said, I think bar meetings result in more one-night stands than relationships. Blame it on the booze. When people get wasted, they get horny. Some guys take advantage of the situation. They know their chances of sex are better with a girl whose inhibitions are lowered (read: she's drunk) and feel they have nothing to lose in trying.

Still, you shouldn't stop going to bars to meet guys, if you enjoy it. I suggest sharpening your sleaze sensors though, if a man is hanging all over you and slurring his words, he's not trying to make a love connection. But if he asks questions and treats you with respect, ...

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