Sex shockers: the bedroom fears men don't share: to be a truly amazing lover, you have to tune in to your guy's most covert sexual needs and concerns. Here, Cosmo lets you in on the steamy strategies that will allay his anxiety and amp satisfaction--for both of you.(LOVE AND LUST)

A man's bedroom hang-ups are a lot like his embarrassing relatives: just because he never talks about them doesn't mean they don't exist. "The idea that men don't have any feelings about sex beyond wanting it is nuts," says Lisa Firestone, PhD, coauthor of Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships. "Just like women can be as sexual as men, men can be as self-critical and worried as women."

The problem is, if guys aren't always forthcoming about their emotions in general, they're even less so where matters of the mattress are concerned. That's where we come in. We've gone to leading experts and guys themselves to uncover some common--and surprising--between-the-sheets fears men have and to offer advice for dealing. These strategies are designed to help keep his stress level low ... and send his libido sky-high.

? HIS SECRET SEX FEAR

"I don't know how to tell her that one of her moves doesn't do anything for me."

No man wants to risk alienating his sex partner, so if you have a turn-on tactic that falls flat, your guy would rather stay quiet than risk hurting your feelings. Even if you ask him straight out if he likes something or not, there's a good chance he still won't fess up because many men tell women what they think they want to hear.

Pave the way for him to show you what he likes by turning it into a game where the winner gets to be the boss of the booty session. One sneaky idea: "Make him a bet that you're sure to lose," suggests Ian Kerner, PhD, author of He Comes Next. (It can be as simple as proposing a thumb-wrestling match.) "When he wins, playfully tell him that you will be at his disposal for the remainder of the night."

When you couch it this way, he won't feel uncomfortable giving you ...