Drivers Log.(News)

Morrison: Welcome to Dimension X, where even your 80-year-old grandmother can drive a 480-hp 911 Turbo as easily (I didn't say as well) as an experienced driver of across-the-board exotica.

Manufacturers are obviously no longer going to dump street-legal race cars on people whose only real ownership qualification is their ability to write a big check. Fine, but this new Turbo leaves me feeling perplexed, if not downright cheated.

Want to make a sub-four-second 0-to-60 run? Left foot on the brake, hold the throttle, wait for the revs to stall at 2400 rpm, release the brake: zero wheel spin, no tail wiggle, nothing. Just the turbos' whine resonating above the engine note as the car fires toward the horizon. I recorded 3.78 seconds, and on a day hot enough to melt Teflon. Easy enough for a monkey, let alone grandma.

This Tiptronic-equipped car is allegedly faster than one with the six-speed manual. But it puts such a hit on the overall experience that it's far from worth it. Besides the involvement that comes with clutching and shifting yourself, this transmission's downshifts are abysmal. And the gearbox does weird things, such as holding fourth gear at a steady 60 mph on the highway, requiring you to manually select fifth when you aren't racing anyone (or yourself) and want to save some fuel. Please, Porsche, introduce the double-clutch paddle-shifted gearbox now.

Still, this 911 blows your mind, thanks to the aforementioned ungodly acceleration and so much grip it feels like you could drive safely through an oil slick at 100-plus mph. It's utterly useable no matter the task at hand and an absolute masterpiece in so many ways, but it is missing some of that old soul. Porsche owners used to take pride in learning and mastering their cars' nuances; now I fear too many are most proud only of being able to afford the sticker price. But at least those types won't hurt themselves. ...