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Black-a-Rina: body of mind.(Theresa Ruth Howard )

Dance Magazine

| July 01, 2006 | Howard, Theresa Ruth | COPYRIGHT 2006 Dance Magazine, Inc. This material is published under license from the publisher through the Gale Group, Farmington Hills, Michigan.  All inquiries regarding rights should be directed to the Gale Group. (Hide copyright information)Copyright

Theresa Ruth Howard started training at a young age. Prompted by Marion Cuyjet of Philadanco, her father sent her to Pennsylvania Ballet, where she studied with Lupe Serrano and Marion Tonner. At 12, she joined the Philadelphia Civic Ballet Company and later danced with Dance Theatre of Harlem, Donald Byrd/The Group, and Complexions. Currently she dances with Armitage Gone! Dance and teaches at The Ailey School.

Recently while flipping through a magazine I came across an ad that read, "I have thunder thighs." That anonymous declaration catapulted me into a sea of mixed emotions. You see, I have spent my life trying to negotiate my butt and thighs, camouflaging with cover-ups. I have rolled, stretched, dieted endlessly, and dreaded costume fittings. I have never been jiggly fat; quite the contrary, I am solid muscle. Frequently I'm asked if I compete (as in bodybuilding) or run track. I am a big legged woman. I have thunder thighs. I cut the ad out and pasted it in my journal with pride and tender lamentation. Encompassed in those four words was the winding road from self-loathing to acceptance, a journey I am still on.

I have never fit the archetype of a ballerina, forget the fact that I'm black, rock a nappy afro, and at 5' 10"--on pointe easily 6'1"--I am a "Big Girl." The term is supposed to refer to my height, but it has always made me feel like a cow. One could say I have been blessed with an "easy" body: well-proportioned, long-limbed, flexible, ample turnout, decent feet, and strong as an ox. Critics always comment on my musculature, uniformly describing me as "powerful" and "strong." One labeled me "Amazon," which would be empowering if I were trying to be a female wrestler, not a sylph or a swan. My blessing of strength becomes a thorn in my thigh--I mean side.

In some ways the idealistic standard of dance (specifically ballet) supercedes that of the modeling industry. It's not simply about looks but functionality: Beautiful legs must also turn out, go up on pointe, and have an arched foot at their end. In this elusive pursuit of physical and technical perfection, the studio transforms into a carnival of funhouse mirrors, where the eye ...

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Source: HighBeam Research, Black-a-Rina: body of mind.(Theresa Ruth Howard )

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