Introduction.

When I started this book, I had no idea that the concept of what to do on a romantic weekend would be so controversial. It began innocently enough.

I asked a group of my friends who were assembled for an afternoon beach picnic what elements contributed to an ideal romantic weekend. I was stunned at the fireworks set off by this simple question.

The women began talking about exotic settings, bed and breakfasts where they had stayed and places that oozed romance--places like Catalina, Dana Point, Julian, and southern California wine country. That I expected. Then they began naming activities. Antique shopping, craft fairs, reading, going to a movie. But the men rolled their eyes at the thought of shopping.

I recalled one Saturday that I had spent people-watching at a sidewalk cafe in a resort town. I watched the crowds of browsers who had come to a festival. The women were having a great time, smiling, chatting, and drifting in and out of shops. The men hung back, either talking to one another, or, more often, staring off into space, bored. Men and women don't necessarily like doing the same things. It would be important for my book to include things that both halves of a couple could enjoy.

One woman said that she and her husband liked checking into a hotel, buying a couple of good books, and going back to their room or the pool to read.

"You mean read out loud to each other?" said another woman, incredulous that someone would do this on a romantic getaway.

"No, we read to ourselves," the first woman replied. "We never get any time to read, and it's a treat to curl up together and enjoy a good book." If the room had a fireplace and it was a rainy winter day, she and her husband were in heaven. Most of the people gathered at the picnic didn't think that reading would be a romantic activity. I disagreed.