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Think vibrators are just for single chicks? Not anymore. Sixty percent of women in relationships have used a vibrator, and almost half of those women have used them with a man, according to a study done by Laura Berman, PhD, director of the Berman Center and author of The Passion Prescription.
When you hear the word vibrator, you may imagine heavy-duty phallus-shaped machinery with rotating beads and a swiveling head--something only a woman could feel okay curling up with. Well, erase that image, because there has been a revolution in humming bed toys. Now they come in a range of discreet shapes and sizes that make them infinitely more couple-friendly. Since it no longer has to feel like you're bringing a second penis into bed, more chicks have become open to incorporating vibes into play with their partners.
"Not only can the toys increase a woman's sexual response, making her want sex even more," says Berman, "but if they're something she and her guy feel comfortable using together, they can also add an exciting new layer to the couple's routine." Of course, you'll have to decide if your relationship would benefit from a little extra electricity. To help, we've outlined tips on how to broach the topic, then incorporate the buzzy buddy into the action.
STEP 1
Have the Vibrator Talk
You might fear that merely mentioning a sex toy will make your man feel inadequate or think you're some kind of kinky freak. But if you're game to test the waters, consider this: In Berman's study, two-thirds of women said their men were cool with their carnal accoutrements. "It sends a positive message about a woman--that she's into sex and wants it more often and more intensely," says Sandor Gardos, PhD, founder of MyPleasure.com. Plus, Gardos says, many men want to get in on the battery-operated action themselves but feel nervous about bringing it up.
Even if you suspect your man would be open to the idea, you still can't just whip it out mid-sack session--you're going to have to suss out for sure whether he'd be interested by discussing it first. Pick a moment when you're out of the bedroom so the immediate pressure is off. Then, to avoid triggering any insecurities, start by reassuring him that a toy is in no way a stand-in for him.
Source: HighBeam Research, Could your relationship use a vibrator? More and more couples are...