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Learning to forgive.(STRESS SOS)(Brief article)

Cosmopolitan

| February 01, 2006 | Lucia, Victoria | COPYRIGHT 2006 © Hearst Communications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This material is published under license from the publisher through the Gale Group, Farmington Hills, Michigan.  All inquiries regarding rights should be directed to the Gale Group. (Hide copyright information)Copyright

When you feel wronged by someone in your life, it can be hard to get past the hurt. "But if you don't try, bitterness and resentment could spoil your ability to trust other people," says Frederic Luskin, PhD, founder of the Stanford Forgiveness Project and author of Stress Free for Good. "Forgive ness is an action that you choose--and you don't need to confront the person you're letting off the hook." Some steps to take:

VENT TO A NEUTRAL PARTY. Let it all out to a sympathetic listener who doesn't know the culprit. "Once you've aired your grievances, see if you can come up with one or two rational explanations for the person's bad behavior," suggests Luskin.

STOP OBSESSING ABOUT IT. ...

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