Ready for long good Thursday.(DOOLEY'S DIARY)

Remember where you heard it: Industry execs might be best off getting an all-day ticket for the Department of Trade and Industry Conference in SW1 this Thursday. The conference is hosting the seminar on Gowers' IP review in the morning, then in the afternoon the spotlight falls upon Trade Minister Ian Pearson to unveil a series of Government measures aimed to help the UK industry succeed in the US ... Ahead of any such Government intervention, those Arctic Monkeys are already getting the Yanks excited. After the release of their album there last Tuesday, the band have now been signed up by Saturday Night Live to perform on the legendary TV programme this coming weekend ... Russell Brand is no stranger to controversy--he was, after all, sacked from his MTV job after going into work on September 12 2001 dressed as Osama Bin Laden--and he continued this tradition at the NME awards, making a joke about Courtney Love driving Kurt Cobain to suicide, which drew tuts of disapproval from the crowd, and accusing Bob Geldof of dining out for 20 years on the success of I Don't Like Mondays. Geldof, naturally, called him a c*nt ... If you're going to invite Pete Doherty to a party you should probably take precautions. But having six security guards watching over him--as was the case at the NME bash--seems a touch excessive. At least he turned up, though--organisers were so unsure of his presence they booked Dan Sartain to play, should Doherty leave then] in the lurch ... Jagermeister shots and free beer was the order of the ...