Stay close during holiday chaos: you should feel festive, so why the urge to drop-kick your man across the room? Cope this way.(LOVE AND LUST)

* Ah, the holidays. Christmas lights. Eggnog. Baked ham. Presents. Fighting like cats and dogs with your guy. Yep, 'tis the season to put a strain on couples everywhere. "Your life pace, obligations, and social and family commitments all go into overdrive around this time of year," explains Christine Murray, PhD, assistant professor of family counseling at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. "And unfortunately, that added activity--even if it's all fun and festive--can create a lot of tension, frustration, and exhaustion that often hits your relationship hardest." To ensure you're not tempted to bitch-slap him under the mistletoe, we've compiled a hit list of strategies to keep the love alive throughout this wild party season and all year long.

Don't Mistake Being Physically Together for Being Together

You spend a jam-packed weekend together going from one party to the next, but come Sunday night, you feel like you haven't seen your guy at all. "That's because when you share your space with other people, you pay less attention to each other and it can be a real challenge to feel connected," says Murray. "Being in the same room isn't enough to create that intimacy you need to stay close."

Little check-ins over the course of the night can make all the difference, according to Murray. So before you enter the party, schedule a couple of moments when you will meet up throughout the evening--say, at 8:30, 9:15, and then 10 o'clock--even if it's just to say "Hey, hot stuff' or share a quick story about your night so far. It will keep you both feeling linked and attuned to each other, despite the crowds.

"Also, sometimes just touching each other--not sexually but lovingly--while you're socializing with other people can be enough to make a connection," says Murray. "Subtle and frequent love signals often have more power than the grandest gestures because they create a feedback loop of affection that tides you over when you don't have as much time for each other."

Have a Party Game Plan

You're wiped out and tapping your pointy-toed heel at the door while your guy (oblivious to your death stare and flared nostrils) has just launched into his 20-minute snowboarding story in front of a group of fellow party guests. Goodwill toward men--especially yours--is the last thing on your mind right now.