Opinion: On the Campaign Couch ... with JB.(Jeremy Bullmore)(Column)

Q: Please help. I am a young copywriter whose creative director is old and past his best, or possibly totally insane. He survives in his role by taking credit for any good work I do, or blaming me for any mistakes he makes. How do I get out of this, or is murder the only solution?

A: I think you'll find, as you grow up, that most established creative directors survive by taking credit for the work of others - and also that a fair sprinkling of them are insane. Changing agencies may therefore not be the solution to your problem. Most young copywriters decide to soldier on until they're old enough to become creative directors themselves.

Only then do they belatedly realise that taking responsibility - aka credit - for the work of their department is a key requirement of the role; and also that an appearance of insanity greatly enhances their mystique and job security.

Q: I'm a middle-aged planner and my life seems interminably dull and without focus. I also seem to be the laughing stock of the agency I work at, and no-one ever wants to hear my thoughts on anything. Is this normal?

A: If this were normal, account planning would have expired as a discipline three decades ago. But I'm intrigued by the concept of an account planner whose thoughts no-one ever wants to hear. Traditionalists believe the only reason for hiring account planners in the first place is for them to have thoughts. It's a bit liking paying for a Court soothsayer who's never expected to say a sooth.

I'd be intrigued to learn: did you ever have worthwhile thoughts or has your entire career been built in this way? If so, quite a lot of people would pay good money to find out how you've pulled this off.

Meanwhile, continue to keep a low profile and do sudoku every day. You can't be far from a peaceful paddock.