Bard on a winner despite moans.(DOOLEY'S DIARY)

Remember where you heard it: Few could argue that the first indie retailers' conference staged by retailers' association Bard last Wednesday was anything less than a runaway success. There were some moans though; one attendee griped that the presentation by one of the majors' presentations was more suited to a supermarkets' conference than one for the indie sector, while another insisted that lie wanted a fully fledged debate about retail issues..But this was "all about the music", to steal Bard's catchline. And common consent crowned Vital's presentation as the best of the lot, including musings from labels chiefs Richard Russell (from XL), Laurence Bell (Domino), Mark Jones (Wall Of Sound), Mark Richardson (Independiente), Simon Dunmore (Defected) and Steve Beckett (Warp). Comic Ross Noble's appearance as linkman caused a few raised eyebrows, particularly at the suggestion that the venerable retail association be renamed as "a pig's cock". "It would certainly be a talking point," the comedian mused. "And a hell of a logo." Indeed ... Pity a certain West London studio which has been hunting for the mole who secretly filmed a certain supermodel and her shambolic boyfriend snorting cocaine on their premises and sold the results to the Mirror for a purported six-figure sum. They have since had the paps camped outside round the clock ... Must have been a cosy journey to the Court of First Instance last week for Impala and its allies. They were making the trip from Brussels by car, presumably every penny saved counts for the fighting fund ... Island Records UK is ecstatic to learn it has ranked in third place on a US website quizzing thousands of unsigned artists about which label they would like to sign with. The home of U2 ...