`Elizabethtown'.

Byline: Chris Hewitt

A list of the klutzy things in "Elizabethtown": Susan Sarandon's role; Orlando Bloom's charm-free performance; most of Kirsten Dunst's dialogue; the decision to have a character express her grief through tap-dancing; the cut of Alec Baldwin's sports coat; the absence of African-Americans in a Kentucky town where the population is 10 percent black; and the movie's second, third, fourth, sixth and eighth endings.

I want to be specific here because "Elizabethtown" is clearly intended as a serious work of art, and it is seriously disappointing. Cameron Crowe, who wrote and directed it (along with such fine films as "Jerry Maguire") is a …