Decline of the English empire?

(From Guardian Unlimited)

A few months ago, this column hinted at the need for a slowdown, a sort of work to rule, in the light of predictions about the spread of English: one half of the world to speak English, or the world to speak half in English, within a lifetime.

I can now reveal a trend that is set to sweep this English-saturated world. I do not know quite how to put this, but I was watching the Eurovision song contest at the weekend. And something very interesting happened.

It was not the drummer who leapt from his kit, did a handstand and started clapping with his feet, and it was not the all-Estonian girl band representing Switzerland with a song in English that sounded like Cool Wipes but was later revealed as Cool Vibes - although both of these acts were noteworthy, in different ways.

No, it was something that happened later, during the voting, when all decent folk (lapses into Woganspeak) had dropped off to sleep. Despite the use of French as a nominal second language, and give or take a few well-rehearsed greetings in Ukrainian, almost all the broadcasters reporting their country's votes spoke in English. But after the customary encomium to the host country's success in putting on A GREAT SHOW, the Danish broadcaster said: "Can I just say something in Danish?"

I do not know what she said, as I do not speak Danish. It may have been a Danish translation of the compliments to the hosts, or it may have been something along the lines of "Hey, guys, I know this is corny as hell and a duff song is about to win, but anyway, I thought the Danish song was best. Go Denmark! Go Danish!"

The Swedish presenter probably did something similar, and to prove it was not just dishy women who were up to this, a very sober looking Greek gentleman added, without preamble, some remarks in Greek.