Opinion: On the Campaign Couch ... with JB.(Column)

Q: David Moore, the creative director at Cayenne Communications, writes: Dear Jeremy, there seems to be a trend for large and somewhat staid companies 'accidentally' leaking controversial viral campaigns on the internet. The company gets kudos from the youth market for being edgy and cool, then in much publicised lawsuits, blames the agency and disowns the viral, getting more free PR and reassuring its more conservative customers in the process. A win-win situation. My questions are: should we advise our clients to do such cynical marketing techniques? And how long before the public begins to put two and two together?

A: Dear David, many thanks. This trend won't last - but not because the public wises up. The dissemination of virals depends on the gleeful and unpaid co-operation of thousands of screen-tied individuals; all of whom pride themselves on being members of a race apart - superior creatures, of independent judgment, wholly immune to fashionable trends and commercial pressures. A successful viral, unlike any other form of communication, is primarily designed to flatter and delight not its receivers but its senders, revealing them to be people of high wit and discrimination. They assume the mantle of authorship and enjoy its prestige. It's only the slope of vanity that keeps the viral snowball rolling.

And any minute now, all these superior creatures of independent mind will rumble the fact that they've been duped; that they've become the dumb and unrewarded accomplices of those deeply uncool enterprises they so despise. The snowball will stop rolling; and then rapidly melt.

Furthermore, grown-up clients and their agencies will soon wake up to the lunacy of boring on about brand consistency and integrated communications - while simultaneously encouraging their brands to disintegrate into endless inconsistent shards.

Virals, of course, will still thrive. But only the real ones; not the impostors.

Q: A few months ago, I made a move from agency-side and accepted the position of group marketing manager for a mid-size leisure organisation. I soon identified several things which need a bit of a shake-up, but my most pressing concern lies with a senior member of the in-house graphic design team. The person in question has been with the company for several years, undoubtedly knows our brands and is familiar with our (currently under review) promotional strategies. I have, however, yet to meet someone who epitomises the word 'useless' quite so well. ...