The nomination, explained.(presidential candidate John F. Kerry)

'IS there any way," we were once asked by a studio executive after he had read our latest script, "that you could show the main character doing something incredibly heroic and totally saving the day in a simple one-page scene we can slap on the top?"

We shook our heads.

"C'mon, guys," the exec said, "a simple one-pager. Boom, he does something heroic, everybody loves the guy, boom, back into the story."

We explained again that this was really impossible. It would seem fake, tacked on, and in the end wouldn't convince the audience that this guy was heroic in the least. And besides, this was a romantic comedy. It really wouldn't fit with the general tone.

The executive was insistent. "I need to know why I'm supposed to love this guy!" he cried. "I'm not asking for much, here. Make it a flashback or something. You know, somewhere in the first act the guy's walking around, suddenly he gets one of those--what do you call it--episodes, or whatever. He's reliving when he ran into the burning orphanage or whatever--you guys will come up with something so much better--and when he snaps out of it, we're all like, we love this guy. Love him. And after that, who cares what happens?"

I'm not sure where that executive is these days--he didn't last long at the studio--but from the way things are going, I suspect he's pretty high up in John Kerry's campaign.

Watching Kerry move around the country, pumping the air with awkward jabs, trying to connect to people by occasionally droppin' his g's, it's impossible not to imagine the minutes of a meeting of the Democratic party's brain trust: