May the best woman win.(Dooley's Diary)

Remember where you heard it:

Who needs Crimewatch UK when you have Women Of The Year? Just days after having sortie of her valuables pilfered, Sharon Osbourne used the platform of last Wednesday's ceremony to urge everyone to keep 'em peeled. "If you see a ring on the way out could you post it please," she pleaded to the crowd, as she finally collected her 2002 Woman Of The Year award after missing that year's event through serious illness ... With her hubbie watching on, Sharon's plea may well have been wasted as one shady figure attending wasted no time in making something of a confession. Mark Lamarr, selected to give Lesley Douglas the bash's biggest prize, observed, "It's exciting for me being in the same room as Ozzy twice in the same week although the last time he got me in a headlock." Given Lamarr's comments about his Radio Two boss, he may well be facing a similar fate soon from Douglas. "She really is the second best boss I've worked for--the first one was a bloke," he helpfully volunteered. "Just go away," Douglas screeched to the Buzzcocks host as she name checked the likes of Stuart Maconie as great presenters on the station. "I was going to say Mark Lamarr, but I won't because he no longer works for Radio Two." That told ya, yer Fifties throwback ... Douglas's date for the night was, of course, a certain Mr Gary Farrow, who came in for a string of tributes from the Radio Two boss ... So what kept Tom Waits from playing the UK for 17 long years? "You won't believe this--traffic school," the legend suggested during his impressive Hammersmith Apollo performance last Tuesday. "Looks like I might have a job ready when I get home" ... Prize for opportunistic move of the week has to go to Sony BMG, which has instantly lined up a Martika best of for January on the back of Eminem's Toy ...