Les Miserables, Indeed; We're depressed, very depressed. Please, put us to bed!

Byline: Eric Pape

Wanted: 24 women to lie in bed, largely immobile, for 60 consecutive days as part of a test to simulate weightlessness on behalf of the European and French space agencies. Participants cannot sit or stand, and must undergo 40 days of preparation and follow-up. Sounds like some kind of techno-torture, right? Not to the 1,200 mostly French women who recently applied. Many of them were depressed applicants who saw two months in bed as appealing, especially if they'd be the center of a medical team's attentions. "They said, 'I'm really tired, can I come for a rest cure?' " recounts study coordinator Dr. Arnaud Beck. "We had to tell them 'It isn't like it's a vacation'."

The study wanna-bes are not the only French people anxious to check out. Several recent surveys show that life in France, of late, just doesn't have the joie de vivre that it used to. While this may not explain why French leaders can be such grumpy allies, it could provide a clue. Denis Tillinac, a close friend of President Jacques Chirac's and author of a just- published book called "The Venom of Melancholy," says the French are depressed because "people sense for the first time that the lives of their children will be worse than their own." National pride has taken a beating. Economic growth has slowed to a crawl. Unemployment remains anchored at about 10 percent. For the past two years the French had found a rare sense of solidarity in opposing the invasion of Iraq and the re-election of U.S. President George W. Bush--but they proved powerless to stop either one.

None of that means Gauls are on the verge of collective suicide, and their misery does have company in a few other downhearted European countries. But, says Dr. Matt Muijen, acting regional adviser for mental health for the World Health Organization, "French people consider themselves more miserable than Northern Europeans." According to a Eurobarometer mental-health survey, one French person in four says he or she is unhappy, and lacking in vitality and positive feelings. The French are about twice as likely to consider themselves unhappy as notoriously suicidal Scandinavians (but they are slightly less likely than those bummed-out Brits).

In order to cope, the French consume far more medication per capita--mostly tranquilizers, anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs--than any other nation in Europe. French people sleep nearly half an hour more than Germans, who suffer harsher winters, according to a ...