Gaga for gyno: I have a crush on my gynecologist, and I think he likes, me too. I just got out of a four-year, relationship, so I might be misreading the signs, but from what I can tell, he's interested. How do I let him know how I feel?(Ask Cosmo Anything)

To put it bluntly, I think you're definitely misreading the signs. You just came out of a long-term relationship. For four years, only one other man has had access to those intimate parts that your gynecologist is viewing with so much interest. But his interest is purely professional. I hate to break it to you, but he looks at all women that way! He's just doing his job. If you make a move, I guarantee you'll be rejected. Accept your unrequited crush for what it is: sexual frustration and a longing for male attention. Find another guy to pine over. And while you're at it, find another gyno--preferably a woman.

what a drag

My girlfriend is into some pretty kinky stuff, but recently, she's been asking if she can dress me up like a woman before we have sex. At first, I thought it sounded kind of hot, and the first couple of times it didn't bother me. But now she wants to dress me up more often. All I have to do is wear some makeup and her underwear, but it's starting to freak me out. I know she's been with women a couple of times before, but she assures me she's not gay. What is this about?

There is a hell of a lot more to being gay than what outfit your partner is wearing. I'm assuming that when the lipstick and panties come off, she enjoys having sex with a guy, right? My suspicion is that dressing you up as a woman is not so much a sexual kink as it is a power trip. She gets a thrill out of seeing just how far she can make you go to please her. The question is, has she pushed you past your limit? No one should ever be forced to do something that "freaks them out" in bed, so if you feel uncomfortable with the masquerade, then just say no the next time she tries to get you in drag. If she sulks or shows you the door, you'll know that your obedience means more to her than your love and you should let her go so she can find some other whipping boy to be her dress-up doll.

guilty pleasure

About two years ago, I fell in love with a married man. I knew it was wrong to date him, but things were so wonderful, I just couldn't help myself. He eventually left his wife--not for me but because things weren't working with her. Now we're engaged, and I couldn't be happier. But I can't help but wonder if our marriage is doomed to fail because "what goes around comes around" Even though our intentions were good, our actions were terrible, and I'm worried that I don't deserve to be happy with this man. What do you think?

The first thing you need to know is that "what goes around comes around" is a cliche, not a fact of life. If things were that simple, nobody would ever make a bad decision, because the consequences would always be cut and dry. But here is a fact of life: People make mistakes. Your fiance's first marriage was a mistake, which is exactly what led him into your arms. Assuming all is well in your relationship, that does not necessarily mean he will cheat again, despite what some people might say. Besides, it's not his fidelity that's worrying you, is it? It's the guilty feeling nagging at you that leads you to believe that you don't deserve happiness because you were once the other woman. Here's another fact of life: Good or bad, people rarely get what they deserve. Did he deserve an unhappy first marriage? Did his wife deserve betrayal? No. But that's in the past now. When guilt creeps in, shut it down by thinking about how great things are between the two of you. As you said, he did not leave his wife for you, so therefore you did not steal him. He left because he was miserable with her. What is wrong for one person can be a perfect fit for another. Hopefully, you'll both get it right this time around.