Men admit to their dirtiest deeds and most shameless scams ever.(Guy Confessions)

you've got voice mail

"A couple of months ago, my fiancee, Brooke, and I broke off our engagement, and she moved out. Canceling the wedding was a huge pain, and I ended up with a load of debt and two nonrefundable tickets to Tahiti. Unbeknownst to me, she was still calling in to our answering machine from her office to retrieve messages--or more accurately, to listen to my messages. One day when I was home sick from work, I caught her. So I decided to play a little trick. I had a female friend call and leave a message, saying what a great time she'd had with me last night and for the last six months and how she couldn't wait for our trip to Tahiti. Brooke called me in hysterics the next night, screaming at me for cheating on her while we were engaged and for taking another woman on 'our' honeymoon. That'll teach her not to snoop ever again."--Mark, 28

36% OF MEN HAVE CAUGHT A GIRLFRIEND OR AN EX CHECKING THEIR VOICE MAIL.

--COSMO WEB POLL

golden girl

"I lived next door to an elderly woman who constantly asked me to do chores for her around her apartment. One time she knocked on my door and said her granddaughter, Agatha, was coming to visit. She asked if I would be able to show her around town. With a name like that, I figured she couldn't be too good-looking, so I lied and said I was going on a business trip. A few days later, I was walking out of my apartment when I ran into a gorgeous blond in the hallway. We started chatting, and I was just about to ask for her number when my neighbor walked out and said, 'Martin, I thought you were supposed to be out of town.' I told her that my trip had been rescheduled and that I'd love to show Agatha around, 'That's sweet of you, Martin,' she said, 'but I'm taking Agatha to the airport right now. Her flight leaves in an hour.' I was pissed, but I guess I got what I deserved."--Martin, 34

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