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Hint: make him wait for sex: when you're super into a guy, you want to get busy ASAP. But even Cosmo knows that putting a lid on your libido can pay off later.(Love And Lust)(As Soon As Possible)
* We know how hard it is to resist ripping each other's clothes off when you and a guy are feeling frisky. But if you think a new lust object could have long-term love potential, you might want to delay doing the deed. "The sex will be more intense when it does happen because you'll feel comfortable and connected," says sex therapist Gloria G. Brame, PhD. Now here's the real shocker: The majority of men want you to make them sweat it out ... a little. According to a Cosmo sex survey, 58 percent of guys would rather go on a few dates before bedding a girl they like. Read on to learn why it's beneficial--for your sex life and future relationship--to take your time, plus how to keep things red-hot while you're holding off.
Why He Wants to Wait
Sure, there are a lot of horny hounds just looking to get laid. But when a guy really digs a chick, he doesn't mind taking a chill. How come? Blame it on the old double standard. "If a woman sleeps with a man too soon, he can't help but wonder if that's what she's done with every other guy who's come along," says Michael Gurian, author of What Could He Be Thinking? How a Man's Mind Really Works. If you're slower to hop in the sack, he'll drink he's one of the elite few who's been lucky enough to get busy with you.
He 'also doesn't want to romp right away, because he's paranoid you'll slip into insta-monogamy mode. "Men know that women often assume they're exclusive once they have sex with someone," says Gurian.
The Bonding Bonus
When a relationship is brand spanking new, you want to spend every possible second getting it on. But "people sometimes use lovemaking as a shortcut to intimacy," says Pepper Schwartz, PhD, professor of sociology at the University of Washington and author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong. If you take sex out of the equation for a little while, you can focus on ...
- Dr. Phil: "plan a date, farm out the kids, light some candles, and seduce him":...
- Magazine article from: O, The Oprah Magazine June 1, 2007 700+ words
...out, but ever since, we've just had sex: no romance, no fire. I've been trying...closeness. That's why now it just feels like sex, which isn't necessarily intimate and...there are many tactics for turning sex back into lovemaking. He's lost his way...
- Celeb couples' sack style: body language expert Doe Lang, PhD, speculates about...
- Magazine article from: Cosmopolitan April 1, 2004 700+ words
"These two seem like they are very passionate lovers, but the fact that Charlize has both arms around Stuart indicates that he may need lots of reassurance in bed." "The way Jen touches Brad's butt shows that she's playful and likely open to trying new positions." "Demi nestles into Ashton to feel
- Make sex more erotic: amp up the electricity in the bedroom by pushing the...
- Magazine article from: Cosmopolitan Kerner, Ian August 1, 2007 700+ words
...three little words: shaky-bridge sex. It's a term I derived from an experiment...two psychologists--Arthur Aron, PhD, and Donald Dutton, PhD--to explore...have to create your own shaky-bridge sex. How? Follow these titillating tricks...
- Caught in the cuddle trap? Sure, snuggling is cozy, but he thinks it's a poor...
- Magazine article from: Cosmopolitan Kerner, Ian December 1, 2007 700+ words
...situation I've seen in my nearly 10 years as a sex therapist, and I call it the cuddle Conundrum...all, he's hardly complaining, and the sex is still good (when you have it). Thing is, a guy is hardwired to hanker for regular sex, even after the relationship has racked...
- Turn your guy into a sex genius: to some men, your body is a wonderland....
- Magazine article from: Cosmopolitan Kerner, Ian February 1, 2007 700+ words
* In my 10 years as a sex therapist and author, I've...Oral Skills Many men's oral-sex motto is Stay the Course...get clitoral stimulation during sex, hop on top, and have him stroke...A on bn.com. Ian Kerner, PhD, offers advice for setting them...
- Dr. Phil: "there are clear stop signs in any relationship. He's waving one in...
- Magazine article from: O, The Oprah Magazine March 1, 2006 700+ words
...romantically? Nothing, zip, nada! We have sex for ten minutes once every two months...question you're entitled to your needs. Sex is important, and you should make every...marriage. I've often said if you have a good sex life, it occupies about 10 percent of your...
- Make sex hotter: we know you're always looking to take things up a notch or two...
- Magazine article from: Cosmopolitan Beland, Nicole April 1, 2004 700+ words
...conferring a secret fantasy--that give sex a wild, passionate boost," says "Dr. Don" Etkes, PhD, sex therapist and author of Loving With...aphrodisiacs," says Darcy Luadzers, PhD, sex therapist and author of Virgin Sex...
- Sex mistakes even hot couples make: Cosmo talked booty with the author of a...
- Magazine article from: Cosmopolitan Searles, John January 1, 2005 700+ words
...Even couples with a full-throttle sex life can hit a speed bump between the...grooving, Cosmo talked to Ian Kerner, PhD, sex therapist and author of She Comes First...the record, no one gets naked or has sex in my office, although many want to...
- The naughiest sex position: doing it up against the wall brings out the...
- Magazine article from: Cosmopolitan Lucia, Victoria September 1, 2008 700+ words
...basic primal nature of having sex against a wall is the reason...intensity," says Lori Buckley, PhD, sex therapist in Pasadena, California...explains Sari Locker, PhD, author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex. With your man right in...
- The sex habit you should break--now: has your lust life as a couple tone from...
- Magazine article from: Cosmopolitan Lucia, victoria November 1, 2008 700+ words
...longer-term couples to rate their sex lives from 1 to 10, plenty of them...most crucial) turning point in their sex lives slip by unnoticed. When couples...and dislikes, says Lori Buckley, PhD, sex therapist in Pasadena, California...
Source: HighBeam Research, Hint: make him wait for sex: when you're super into a guy, you want...