OPINION: Thailand's Tourism Promoters Need New Master Plan.

Aug. 2--The country's tourism promoters are never at a loss for ideas and bold new initiatives to keep people flocking to Thailand and leaving as much money as possible behind. Perhaps it has something to do with the inspiring settings in which these ideas are thrashed out.

Remember the much-touted tourism summit in Chiang Mai earlier this year? The hundreds who convened there for a weekend of northern hospitality surely do, even if they don't remember whether any practical strategies emerged or what kind of follow-up they might have to do.

Last weekend it was the turn of Samui. Or more accurately, it was the turn of a few hundred more tourism bureaucrats, industry folk and media hangers-on who felt they had been short-changed on beach time lately.

They sat around for a couple of days and came up with the usual sweeping visions: better development controls, better quality tourists (TAT code for "no backpackers"), environmental improvements and the like. This will require a new master plan, which will require more meetings, preferably in places more hospitable than Bangkok.

Somsak Thepsuthin, the minister in charge of tourism this month, noticed a thing or two on his visit. He was alarmed, for example, by the deteriorating state of Hin Ta -- the famous "grandfather rock" known for its resemblance to, um, the male procreative organ. It's crumbling and starting to lose some of its distinctive shape, he grumbled. The minister wants it fixed, the civil engineering equivalent of Viagra, perhaps.

Mr Somsak's been thinking of other sure-fire tourist draws as well. Think buffalo races, he declared. But why stop there? Think of Samui's roads, charitably described as "challenging" because it sounds better than "dangerous". The minister might want to consider approaching the Formula One people to see if they're interested.

As for "quality tourists", it was a case of one step forward and two steps back. One of the social highlights of the weekend was a knees-up at a local pub where a Red Bull promotion was staged, complete with helpings of the ...