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* He's amazing. And the relationship could easily have the background score of a Meg Ryan heart-tugging romance flick. So how come you and your man aren't setting the bed ablaze? It's not that he lacks sack skills or you two aren't destined to be a duo. More likely, you're slacking on the time and effort it takes to create true carnal chemistry. "Most couples assume that if they click romantically, they should instantly click in the bedroom too," says Peter Kanaris, PhD, a sex therapist in Smithtown, New York. "But it takes practice to get in sync with each other." Read on for the four obstacles that may be plaguing you and your guy, plus simple solutions so you can burn up the bedsprings.
SEX SNAFU 1
you suffer from new-couple-ness
"When my current guy and I first got naked, I assumed I'd wow him with all the tricks that thrilled my ex," recalls Jessica *, 22. "But he wasn't revved by my trusty repertoire--if I stroked one spot, he'd ask me to inch over a bit or press harder. We're still trying to smooth things out."
Why are things fizzling--not sizzling--between Jessica and her man? Call it force-fed passion. "A lot of new twosomes want so badly to connect during sex that they try too hard to impress each other, relying on maneuvers that worked on a past partner or something they picked up watching a movie," says Kanaris.
In-sync solution: Instead of choreographing your caresses, let the natural sexual tension build slowly. "Tell him you want to just fool around and simply explore each other's bodies with no goal in mind," suggests Yvonne K. Fulbright, author of The Hot Guide to Safer Sex. Once you discover what turns you both on, use those moves as a starting point for more sensual, spontaneous, effortless sex.
SEX SNAFU 2
Source: HighBeam Research, When everything's great but the sex: you two have major sparks ......